Once we were told that “we always have a choice”…i dunno if that “we” applies to me or anything but it seems like it doesn’t. Sometimes I just get forced to do something even though I really don’t want to and that sucks. But then again life sucks and then you die. But really, it is VERY annoying when people take control over you. It’s not fair and if you resist they find something to blackmail you. The question is always yes or not no? Heck, yeah that’s the kind of choice given! I just don’t like it when people force me. Can’t I volunteer on doing something and not get ordered to do it instead? I hate what I’m gonna do. I try to think of it positively but the real picture of it is very haunting. I HATE IT! Right now I may look like I’m willing and happy to do it but if you really know me,you would know that it’s killing me deep down. I am not and never will be happy of what stupid thing i am gonna do. I swear I won’t do it again. If i make a fool of myself onstage on the 24th then all hell will break lose and i’ll never forgive the people who made me do it. The only good thing i’m getting from this are the clothes that i’m supposed to wear and even that is giving me a hard time. Plus i am not comfortable with the whole thing.
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