01.24.10

[  that it is time to finally forgive yourself ]
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You’ve carried the guilt, the shame for long enough. You’ve kept your wounds open for long enough. The time has come to let go, to heal. Keep the lessons and let the pain heal. Yes, you know what we are talking about it.

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GENERATION DEAD. I haven’t finished reading it yet. It’s like Vampire Kisses only it’s about zombies and it’s less interesting. I guess it’s the way the author describes the details to the story. And the characters are sorta… FLAT, i guess. There’s just nothing interesting about them. Maybe it’s just lacking something… like the character of Phoebe who’s supposed to be a goth-girl and this Tommy Williams who’s supposedly the undead kid. Both characters don’t possess qualities that make them ineresting. Aside from the fact that Tommy’s a zombie and Phoebe the goth-girl falls for him there’s not much happening. I can’t even imagine what they look like. The lovestory is just really FLAT.

I want to read Vampire Kisses 6 so bad. I miss the lovestory of Alexander and Raven. No, seriously I do. =.=

I feel tired and sleepy. But I can’t really sleep. Either I don’t feel like it [ even though my eyes are begging me to] or my mind just won’t shut down. It’s not insomnia. I am able to sleep at night but in the day when I still feel very sleepy I still can’t sleep. Well part of that is because I’m in school and I’m not comfortable slacking off in my chair. Good and bad things are on a roll. Events just keep on happening day by day. I’ve no choice but to take every blow and accept things like I usually do. I feel like my mind wants to contemplate on lots of stuff but I’m confused which ones.

A headache…. I think i’m feeling one right now but it’s only mild. I have bruises but I don’t mind. I have 2 scratches on both arms, both of which were the result of my stupidity. The second one kinda surprises people, which is funny. LOLZ… their reaction makes me laugh a bit… like it some kind of stab wound. Both are healing, but I have a feeling I’ll get more scratches and bruises and maybe take more hits in the face during volleyball practice. Who knows? I might actually break my arm or experience a nose bleed? Both of which I haven’t experienced in my lifetime. I don’t mind if those happens, it’d be cool. HA-HA. I’m not a masochist or anything.. I just want to know what it feels like.  ^_^

I might get to see my bestfriend again. So looking forward to that. Aaah but I don’t want anymore crying. She seems sad whenever I see her. I feel guilty for leaving but then again I have my own life to live. I always think my friends can do without me. Aaah and I still do not have a prom partner and grad ball partner.. it sucks. I can’t put myself to ask someone unless he’s my cousin or relative. My pride won’t allow it. Aaah and this is the problem when you’re in an exclusive girls’ school. T.T